Let us be honest. Chivalry is a word you rarely or have never heard of. Unless you read a lot of romantic novels and soap operas, you might not know the meaning of this word. Now, allow me to give you a history class on the meaning of this word. In the earlier centuries, Knights were supposed to have certain qualities. According to the dictionary meaning, it is the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valour and dexterity in arms. These were the rules and customs of medieval knighthood.
Now to the easier part of my history lesson. A knight is a man awarded a nonhereditary title by the sovereign in recognition of merit or service and entitled to use the honorific “Sir” in front of his name. In short, this title was to be earned. In order for you to have attained this title, “chivalry” was a must. Since chivalry has very complicated commandments, I will direct you to the moral part of what qualities as a man you should uphold.
Over the years, the meaning of this word has evolved. Today, chivalry is an honourable and polite way of behaving especially towards women. Often, you will hear a lady tell her friends that chivalry is dead. Honestly, it is somehow dead. Ladies have always been told that when they get to the university, they will find a well-dressed, tall, dark and handsome man with whom they can start their romantic story with. Wait until she gets to campus. She finds guys wearing torn trousers and sagging the up to the knee level exposing their Arsenal innerwear. Most ladies have a fantasy or an idea on how a perfect gentleman will woo her into his arms like she read in a romantic novel.
If you are a lady, you must have experienced this: You walked out of your room. You spent almost an hour choosing the perfect outfit, applying make-up and changing your jewellery until you found the perfect one. You admire yourself in the mirror and you are contented in what you see. You are walking with your rather tight skirt. It is showing your natural and gorgeous curves. You pass by a group of guys. As soon as you get near, everyone becomes quiet. You here a “tsk tsk” or an “eiiissh.” Once you turn, only the bravest will afford to say hi and the conversation ends there. If you are lucky, none of the guys will say hi, “watakula kwa macho tu.” How did that make you feel?
After all the time you put in your beauty you deserve a compliment. Therefore, to the guys reading this, ladies want to be approached and told how beautiful and attractive you find them to be. Approaching a lady is very tricky. She might outright reject you just because she is not in the mood or she finds you intimidating. However, the most attractive quality for a guy is confidence. I will share a personal experience with you guys.
It was at dusk. I was coming from my friend’s place. I had earphone plugged deep in to my ears listening to my favourite jam. Then I saw this lady coming my way. Curvaceous and totally stunning. She was in her dress. I couldn’t tell the colour but she was totally beautiful. Being a first year, I was really afraid of even looking at her in case I might have been caught staring like a pervert. I decided that since an opinion not told is lost forever, I would say hi. I had to gather up all the courage I could get. I walked straight to her with my eyes fixated at her. My heart was threatening to break my rib cage. I pulled my earphones from my ears.
I took a deep breath and stopped her. “Excuse me, I have to tell you something,” I told her. She stopped. “What?” she asked with a curious look. “I thing you are the most beautiful girl I have seen all day,” I said. She smiled and blushed a little. “Why do you say that?” she asked. “I noticed how your dress compliments your beauty and I had to tell you what I saw,” I said. She kept on smiling. “What year are you?” she asked. “I am a first year,” I said. “Wow! Do you always approach ladies and tell them how beautiful they are?” she asked in disbelief. “Only those that catch my eye,” I replied.
I asked if she would mind I take a walk with her and she said it was fine with her. She still couldn’t believe I was a first year. She was a third year. She later told me her name and we exchanged numbers. Since then, she has always said that I am the most confident guy she has ever come across. If only she knew how afraid I was. We have been friends since.
Now guys, approach anxiety is inevitable. Do not whistle at a girl. Walk up to her and introduce yourself and tell her genuinely what made you stop her. Cheesy pick-up lines are effective but chances are she has heard of them from a certain guy or movie. Be honest and when you show her you are confident and cannot be sobbed like a loser, she will respect you. Next, dress properly. Your first impressing, just like my first approach in campus will never be forgotten by the girl if you make it unique.
Ladies want their guy to be rich. If you put on official wear, it will not only make you look rich but also masculine. It is high time you stop being branded as a “fisi” and more of a gentleman. She will tell her friends of how her day has been eventful and if you fall in the “mafisi” category, chances of a first date is going to be very difficult. Why? Her friends will discourage the girl not to go out with you because you are a loser. It is high time we became knights in the eyes of ladies.
Written by Brian Muguro